ECSTATIC MOMENTS

When I was a lad, perhaps twelve or so, in the middle of walking across a busy street I had an ecstatic moment. I mean, I was infused with a sense of intense pleasure that transcended any reality; and if the light had turned against me, onrushing cars might have mashed me flat. There was a purity to the experience that I had never known before but it lasted only a few seconds. I reached the other side of the street safely and wondered that had happened, and I surely wanted it to re-experience it. Alas, in that form, never again. Of course, I tried to replicate it by walking across the same street many, many times but to no avail. Never again did it happen with no relationship to reality. I have read that some describe such as having been touched by an angel's wing, but even at that early age, my reading filled with magic spells and sorcery, I never thought of a supernatural explanation. It was too mindless for that idea to have legs.

But, I surely since I have had ecstatic moments and have sought them out because they all had direct links to reality which, to some degree I could control. Some years later, while washing sand off my body in the shower I suddenly almost fell over consequent to an extraordinary burst of pleasure and delight. And, it was pure, powerful, obliterating time and place during those exquisite moments; I wanted more. This time, I knew what had happened: I had vigorously washed that magic part of my body and voila, ecstasy. Knowing what to do, and wanting more, I tried again and achieved only a pale imitation of the first time. Reality intruded  . . . rats. But, I understood that time would fix it.

You can be sure, that following my plan to try crossing the street I realized that taking showers was the key and my mother was astonished at my newly discovered penchant for cleanliness. While she might have figured it out, it was not a decent topic of discussion between mother and son. Still, sex became an important part of my life. Ah, ecstasy!

Much later, in graduate school, I struggled with finding a dissertation topic. It became a matter of some urgency and my professors looked at me with the proverbial fish eye, almost like parents demanding grandchildren. Do you know Sullivan's song about fooling around on the organ (no pun intended) and out of the soul of that organ came the sound of a grand amen. Well, that's what happened to me. I typed this and that and suddenly the idea popped into my head. Whence, I knew not nor did I care. I began putting it into words and it held together; and it grew to cover vaster territory than when first it appeared. My pleasure and joy transcended reality and I leaped from my chair and danced around the room. Every now and then, I rushed back and typed a few more words as the idea grew even greater. The whole experience lasted half an hour, but I knew it to be the Truth.

Well, my mentor who will read this did not share my happiness and doubted the whole thing would work. Knowing the Truth, I challenged him to find a flaw in my logic. He could not. The compromise was that I would run a pilot study and demonstrate I had not gone bonkers. Well, it worked and the rest is history. He urged me to send it to the American Psychological Association for their annual competition and I received honorable mention. Hey, not a bad outcome for an ecstatic moment.

Combat veterans have told me about ecstatic moments when they killed an enemy. There is ecstasy when the home team wins, when a first baby is born. Reading great literature does it; a painting, music, etc. can do it. I remember the first time I heard La Demoiselle Elue, and how for a brief moment I became suffused with extraordinary pleasure. The experience is everywhere. Oh, yes, I must include varieties of religious experience in which some religionist consequent to the experience proclaims she has had contact with God. Of course, no one can gainsay such a statement; it is best received with a shrug.

Except for once hearing some neurologist explaining ecstasy as stemming from the spinal cord, I have no recollection that any work has been done in that area. Clearly, the experience is too elusive to be replicated easily for science to examine it. It remains for us to enjoy. Wonderful

I admit I am truly fanatic

About anything that results in ecstatic

For those who would doubt

I derisively shout

Go suck on your thumb in the attic.