LAS VEGAS. HOT DAMN!

Some of you may have mourned my absence last week in spite of knowing that Shirley and I had gone to the fleshpot known as Las Vegas.. You know their current come on: “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Well, no more; I will bare all.

We have taken our annual trip there for about 8 years and always enjoyed ourselves. This time was not different though to thoroughly enjoy one must feel a bit of pain. After all, without contrast, how does one know how to rate the experience? For example, our flight from Denver left at 8:00 AM, necessitating arriving at the airport at 5:30AM to go though security. To accomplish that, we had to leave at 6:00 AM and I, somewhat sluggish in the morning had to awaken at 4:45 to have sufficient time to clean up, cram a few odds and ends into the suitcase and force feed myself. A slice of bread, a slice of ham and a bit of mayo all washed down with tomato juice sufficed. Coffee or tea take time, not time for that.

Happily, my darling daughter drove. Apart from her grumbling it was a very pleasant drive because I sat in the back where I could barely hear her. Poor Shirley sat up front and I suppose the two of them supported each others misery. Too bad.

At the airport we each paid $25 to have our bags transported along with us, an unpleasant shocker and later paid $16.57 for some coffee and some starchy stuff at one of those airport feederies. Getting through security was easy; old people no longer have to remove their shoes. That I don't get. Is it that we elderly sorts are too decent to blow up an airplane; is it that we old folks regardless of religion are most eager to hold on to life than the young; is it that even with an exploding shoe we are too creaky to bend over and set it off or it could be that the TSA is beginning the process of dropping the whole idea as ridiculous. Still, they required that I remove my handkerchief and run it through the X-ray machine. They must know something though perhaps only God knows what.

Leaving early meant arriving early. We arrived at our accommodation at about 10:00 AM but the room would not be available until 4:00 pm. The consequence of sleep deprivation is the intense desire to sleep and it occurred to me that doing so in the lobby would forever label us as alte, alte cockers. I pleaded with the desk clerk for an early room, perhaps begged is the right word, but failed. Shirley tried, Shirley who won the best sales person award 5 years in a row and the clerk “found” a room for us. We dashed up, unpacked and guess what? Hah, sleep! After a few hours we awakened, refreshed ourselves and dashed off to the nearest flesh pot, the Hotel Planet. Let me state here that I had brought along my trusty pedometer to have some measure of the physical expenditure of having fun in Vegas. Anyway, we arrived there a bit after noon, time for lunch. One of the most important thing we have learned in our travels to Vegas was never to order coffee or tea; the price ranges from $3.50 to $4.50 an amount that only the moderately wealthy or the improvident would consider.

Still, lunch, whatever it was was enjoyable. We watched the artificial rain storm, checked out some of the shops and went deeper into the bowels of the establishment. (Let me say here that in this hotel the shops ask reasonable prices for their goods. Places like Bilagio, Caesars Palace, etc.,have shops for the filthy rich and the sales staff, splendidly dressed stand around bored at the lack of custom.) We had a bit of pineapple gelato and found a magician. He required only $67 each for his show, we had second row orchestra seats and the last time I cheered so lustily was when it snowed and I could snuggle in bed.

After the show, we went to a Brazilian steak house. If you have not been, you might try such (we have at least one in Denver.) Servers stroll around with different kinds of meats on a skewer, lamb, two or three kinds of beef, ditto for chicken and ditto for sausage. Each presents himself and offers some of his cargo and it is easy to over-eat. There is a full-range salad bar, side dishes and veggies a\long with bread for the sensible eater.

We finally, weary beyond reasonableness, staggered back to the Polo Towers and fell once again into bed. I mean, how much fun is possible in one day?

If in Vegas you want lots of fun

You really have to keep on the run.

It helps if you're manic

But, there's no reason to panic

Just stay away from the sun.